Here’s Why This Man Stopped Watching Porn For Good

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If you watch porn – sexually explicit videos, photographs, writings, or the like, produced to elicit sexual arousal – and enjoy it too, this article probably is not for you.

Ran Gavrieli, who studies gender at Tel Aviv University and works with youth and adults in building positive self image, gave an interesting and compelling TED talk on his experience with porn addiction, his own reasons for not watching porn and the addictive and paralyzing effects of pornography on young minds.

In his speech, Ran stressed that porn brings anger and violence into your private fantasies. After making a habit out of porn, it conquers your mind and invades your brain. And you lose your ability to imagine. According to porn, being a valuable sexual partner does not relate with being sensual, passionate, attentive, generous, or well-coordinated. It is all about large private parts and eternal sunshine, which normal men/women don’t possess.


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41 COMMENTS

  1. I’ve watched my share of porn, and I’ve never had angry/violent fantasies. I think Ran is projecting his own emotional disfunction onto everybody else.

    • Agree…I always was a relaxed guy and also so emotional even before I turn 18 and watch porn…I think things like these depends on your personality and who u decide to be and ur brain when u birth…
      ( also sorry for my bad English 😀 )

    • I agree as well. I’ve seen plenty of porn, I have no violence in my fantasies, and have no problems being realistic or romantic. Ask my wife. While this may be true for some, I don’t think it derived from watching porn. It was already in his/their head and just inflated their fantasies.

      • Mehh, not how you are born. How you think and what you believe are influenced by it. But also greatly by where you have grown up, under what conditions you have grown up, what you have seen and have been told, how your family and friends are and what they have experienced. It all has its influence on you as a person. Through your life many other things will to and things you may not care for now might be very important to you had you experienced life differently. Combining evrything that has happened to you with the way you think can create many different people. We are complex because of the way we evolve as a person through life. But still simple because of the things evryone wants.

    • True, same here. I think he is basically violent which got triggered later point in his life. Just like alcohol, not everyone is an addict but only a few.

    • I TOTALLY agree with you. Porn is a tool for me, nothing more. When the wife ain’t around or has the proverbial headache, give me a cyber lover to reduce my stress and I’m good to go for another 24 hours. Smile, fast, effective. No problem.

    • Agee. I used to watch porn frequently and I was a damn good lover, generous in bed, and very open and encouraging with my partners. If anything I learned all sorts of things from porn, heck, you don’t have to watch violent porn. All that said, I no longer watch porn, I’m just over it, and I stopped watching for none of the reasons this guys stated.

      This article is dumb on many levels.

    • I don’t agree with you… It’s a business of human exploitation and this ia the truth and no matter how harsh it maybe to believe this, we must acknowledge that those who watch porn are almost intoxicated in their slavish desire

  2. This guy clearly has some psychological problems or his moralistic education make him totally biased. If watching porn too much might be harmful (building problems of self confidence), it’s also a wonderful tool to open new vistas, fantasies and, in the end, to get a better and deeper sexual life.

  3. It depends what kind of porn somebody watches. I mean the range is very wide.
    If he is into brutal sex, than that’s his avenue. I started watching porn at age 12. It would never make me aggressive at all. I mean i grew up in Germany. You could watch porn every weekend late night on regular TV. The rate of violence in Europe is so low compared to North America’s.

  4. How can we keep on watching porn after this message? I just realised that I demand lives of more girls to be ruined. We cannot allow this to happen, just so we can get some short pleasure or new fantasies. I’ve been incredibly selfish!

  5. And none of you that oppose him can stop yourself and realize the trigger to be in denial when, like many continue to state, someone offers help. Psychologically, not a single one of us can claim awareness to a point where you even realize that absence of thought that occurs when you glimpse at the opposite sex. And you see them not with respect, but that absence of mind.
    We have been told what we do is right and wrong so many times, truth is, there is no way you can make such a claim as to not have been affected. Whether you see it or believe it or not. The truth remains unseen.

  6. It is likely that porn may look aggressive in circumcised cultures like the Muslim, American and Jewish ones.

  7. He brings up many good points. At the same time cannot a woman freely chose to sell her sex and a man respectfully give in exchange something of value? I’m sure there are those who do do such. Vast majority of people would not agree with pimping and human trafficking. Though it happens it is not exclusive of the industry. Secondly concerning porn he distinguishes it from erotic. Cannot people watch sexuality that is respectful of one another even if certain parties are getting paid? Maybe it is more a matter of the spirit in which people engage in these activities not the whole entire category in and of itself.

  8. First off, can I marry this guy?

    I think the people who are trying so hard to defend their porn habit are missing the point and are also providing a prime example of the addictions of porn. Have any of you stopped to question yourselves if you could even stop watching porn? I bet you anything that you could not stop watching it for a month straight without craving it. That’s an addiction. Not to mention that porn is only meant to be visually satisfying. It does not have anything relating to actually satisfying a woman or even what sex between two partners should be. Its completely for the visual affect only. It ruins and pollutes the idea of what sex should be; understanding, flexible, generous, partners should be hearing out each others needs. The last I checked, good sex doesn’t just involve a guy just sticking his penis in you and going at it… which is pretty much all porn is. And the last guy who tried to do that in the bed with me and expected me not to have any needs was out the door before he could even finish. Not to mention it puts unrealistic pressure on men and women to look and act a certain way. I’ve watched my fair share of porn too. And I still struggle with it sometimes. But I don’t want to put the pressure on my future partner that he or she has to be or act a certain way. And I don’t want themto be shallow in ttheir love making either. I also have enough love and respect for myself that I don’t want to ever feel like I need to compete with the women in those videos to be something I’m not. And I never want to be pressured by a partner to act as shallow as those people in order to keep their attention and affection. I refuse to even date someone who doesn’t have enough respect for me and enough discipline to not watch it.

  9. I have seen porn for 14 years now

    Yes over the years my porn liking have changed, since I found out what I liked the most.
    Once it took me 30 min to find the right viceo, now under 5 min.

    But the big private part is to a extend true, at least for men, girls can still have small breasts in porn. But the trend is to get them enlarged. There is something about the points the man is setting, but I cant reconise that porn have made me less sensual, intim, passionate or anything, because it is not possible if your a warm and loving person. You cant be more passionate and intim than me, so porn did for a fact not change that. But it learned me about my more dominant side.

    I think porn makes you possibly think more about sex and look at girls, but cant prove it because I cant not relive my life without seeing porn to prove it.

  10. there is good porn and there is bad porn. good porn prioritizes female pleasure, shows a variety of body types in a positive light, and most importantly features genuine chemistry between the performers. two examples of porn i like that you can find for free on pornhub are the porn from hot g vibe, a sex toy company that advertises itself with videos of women masturbating with its products, and kink.com, a kink & fetish-based site that features an interview with the performers at the end of every video where they talk about how the experience actually felt for them. there are also feminist porn producers who i’m aware of but i don’t subscribe to any of them because it costs money, but from what i have seen they are really deeply self-reflective about portraying an authentic view of both women’s and men’s sexuality. you can also find plenty of amateur porn where the participants are clearly happy to be doing what they’re doing and if you watch with empathy you can tell that their sexuality is flourishing by their choice to put it in porn. additionally i would add that even if you’re watching only positive porn, it’s still important to make sure at least half of your masturbation is based on fantasizing inside your own mind, and not using porn. i agree that 99% of porn is disgusting and reflects a pathetic self-emasculating tendency among men who don’t know how to relate to women or to their own feminine side, but that doesn’t mean you have to write off all porn entirely.

  11. I disagree with the article’s author and the accompanying video. I don’t watch porn, because I don’t care to see naked men. Since the majority of “straight” porn features men, it’s a turn off for me, since I’m straight. What “does it” for me, are “solo videos” of women. I don’t need to see another male’s penis, nor do I want to. I also don’t care to watch others (male and female) have sex. But, that’s just my opinion…doesn’t mean it’s THE opinion, merely what I feel.

    I really don’t understand the turn-on factor for a straight male watching “vanilla” hetero porn. Nope, not for me. A video of an attractive woman “soloing”, to me, is more instructive than anything. Because, unless I’m mistaken, a good lover (in this case, a man) watches for cues, and learns what the woman likes and what brings her to the hilt. Watching some brain-dead “pretty boy” pounding some women thinking he’s God’s Gift is not my idea of pleasure.

  12. I think porn is the roots of evil. First of all, it makes not only men, but also women act stupid. Guys, if you keep doing that, girls will start being jealous and insecure (in other words, ‘acting crazy’). Women dont understand that the image you see is just an object and not someone you wanna marry or go on a date with. To us the object in the image is still a girl, who we most likely consider our opponent. And obviously we will notice she is more sexy than us, more pretty than us. Aaaaand thats when we start with fake eyelashes and tits. Also we decide that if you need something (someone) else than us, we are also allowed to go have fun with someone else. So thats where you start saying we’re no wife material because we went out there and fucked a random guy (he had a bigger dick btw). And then you start considering all women sluts and whores. So, before you start saying there’s nothing wrong in porn industry, think about the price you will pay later

    • Oh come ON, puhleeeeeeze, will you? I mean, “Women dont understand that the image you see is just an object and not someone you wanna marry or go on a date with. To us the object in the image is still a girl, who we most likely consider our opponent.”
      I am a woman. Don’t speak for me, please, if you insist on peddling this simplistic gender bullshit. Thanks!

  13. All i want to say is if porn effects you that bad an you doing things that are goin to hurt or mentally mess you up or the person, its time for you to find someone who enjoys a respects your fantasys …. I watch porn all the time an i find ways an moves to climaxs a gorls need if she dont like the moves i try something else its all about the support you get with your mate an if its not fun for you or her masterbation it is …true story kids…

  14. It might be nice to watch a porn film from time to time, but there are several points he mentions that need to be discussed at least. in almost every porn the woman is characterized as a person without any personal preferences other than being fucked and it´s just the job of the man (or men) to do it as quick as possibly. Woman are just a good or a thing to be worked on and that´s definitely not what this very emotional part should be all about. Porn is like prostitution, that´s the main sentence. All porn actresses and actors do that stuff for a reasonable portion of money, but that is not what sex and love is about. You might have good or even better sex with a stranger or a newly met person in a discotheque, but that is also already the explanation: It´s the unknown, the interesting new and the maybe “no consequences Thing” about it. But as I´ve come to know about this kind and that kind, this is not the real sex. For fullfilling good sex, there has to be love and there has to be trust between two persons, anyone stating that it should not never ever had real good sex. Sorry, but that is the “fucking truth” 😉

  15. This guy has spoken truth and so many people will find it difficult to digest it because porn is addictive. I think we must accept the truth that it harms us all as a society

  16. I’m sorry to everyone that feels offended by this but he is right. Pornography does perpetuate sexual violence maybe not in the way he put it but it does. And yes you are creating a supply and demand where men and women and children are essentially pimped too feed it

  17. Porn makes me sad, not that i don’t like it, the fact my cannon is not like a BIG black monster sized, God i want one of those

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