8 Things To Remember If Someone You Love Is An Alcoholic

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Alcohol is the most commonly used addictive substance in the United States: 17.6 million people – one in every 12 adults – suffer from alcohol abuse or dependence. However, behind the 17.6 million individuals that struggle with these demons, there are millions of family members and close friends who must deal with the challenges that come with loving and caring for an addict.

Everyone knows a family that has been affected by addiction. Unfortunately, when a family or friend suffers from addiction, there is no 5-step pamphlet that will outline how to overcome all of the challenges that each of you will face. Each journey to recovery is different; it is important to remember that.

However, there are a number of things that you can keep in the back of your mind to help you through the darkest days. Here are 8 things to remember if someone close to you is struggling with alcohol addiction.

1) Everyone Has Different Coping Mechanisms

It may feel like you are the only one struggling and experiencing the pain associated with alcohol addiction; however, it is important to remember that you are not alone. Everyone has different coping mechanisms; some people cope by using work or activities to distract them from the pain, while others may choose to scream and shout at anyone and everyone.

2) You Must Heal Yourself; No One Can Do It For You

It can be all too easy to throw yourself into a new relationship and expect your partner to make everything better. It is commonly believed that the love of another can fill a void left by your own struggles.

However – like everything else in life – we must find your own way to happiness and love. Yes, support and guidance from friends and family can be helpful, but when it comes to healing and pushing through your struggles, you must find it on your own in order to move on with your life.

3) It is Normal To Keep Your Struggles Hidden Behind Closed Doors

When going through any personal or family struggle, many people often find comfort in hiding them from the world. Although it is advised that you seek help and discuss your feelings with supportive friends or family, processing the issue yourself can be an important part of the healing process.

4) They May Not Understand, But You Need To Confide In Friends

Although they may not have personal experience with the issue you are currently dealing with, the support a friend can offer is invaluable. Having someone to vent your emotions and thoughts to can often lift a huge weight from your shoulders, and make you feel less alone.

5) You Cannot Fix The Addiction, But Your Support Can Help

It can be tempting to try and fix your loved one alcoholism; however, it is important to remember that that your loved one must overcome this challenge alone in order to truly succeed. When addiction affects a family – especially one with young children – sufferers often dedicate their recovery to their spouse or children.

Despite the temporary motivation that this may offer, the only way to overcome an addiction is to do it solely for yourself. As a result, friends and family can often feel lost and useless in these circumstances. Unfortunately, sometimes the only thing you can do is wait and hope that they can set themselves of the road to recovery – and it is important that you accept this.

6) Recovery is Awkward and Challenging

Recovery can be awkward and challenging for everyone involved. The person suffering with the addiction may find it difficult attending family occasions – weddings, birthdays and other celebrations – as they will be surrounded by bars, drinks and prying eyes.

Meanwhile, family members of the sufferer may find the person’s recovery process awkward to deal with. Introducing words like trust and respect can be uncomfortable, especially once you factor in the amount of pressure family members are under to keep the sufferer feeling comfortable, loved and supported at all times.

7) You Have To Keep Going; Every Day Presents New Opportunities

Yes, dark times are an inevitable part of life; however, it is how we choose to act during these moments that help define us as people. It can be all too easy to climb under to covers and to wish the bad things away, but facing the darkness head-on is usually the best thing we can do.

When you push through these dark days you are not only proving to yourself that you are a lot stronger than you originally believed, you will also set an example for those who are suffering with you.

8) Let Go Of The Anger; It Is Okay To Forgive

Throughout our existence on this planet, the human race has evolved to adapt to their surroundings. This, to a certain degree, is still true today. The things, people and events in our lives change and shape us as individual people.

Addiction is an illness that effects everyone who cares for the person suffering. As a result, the journey to recovery can change and shape you and your relationship with each other. Accept the past, accept that it has made you who you are today and forgive those around you.

Image: Flickr, Leo Hidalgo


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