Winter is coming. It really is, and what better way for Eddard Stark to win votes ahead of Ukraine’s coming election than with his signature phrase and promises of “Central heating for every house.” In a country where 30% of the buildings in its capital city, Kiev, do not have access to central heating, that’s a winning bet.
Warning, this article contains many references to a fictional TV series and bestselling book series. Duh.
A Kiev designer named Denis Gritsfeldt has decided to liven up the the elections for local offices by creating a whole slew of candidates based on the Game of Thrones TV series. Apparently he felt that his government was already made up of puppets; a costume here or there would hardly detract from the solemnity of the process, and draws attention away from the protruding forearm.
Jon Snow is looking for recruits to man the Wall; taking the Black in Ukraine apparently pays well. Hopefully potential recruits won’t be forced to swear off women and leave their families permanently. I hear the fringe benefits are worth it though, the first beheading is on the house.
Joffrey Baratheon of the Monarchist Party apparently swears to“get rid of all those unwanted and punish all those guilty”. As yet he remains undecided as to whom is innocent, however.
Tywin Lannister claims that “A Lannister always pays his debts”, which might make the Braavosi… I mean the IMF and the Russians feel slightly better about the huge debts(20 billion bucks of it) that Ukraine had accrued. Then again, that warm fuzzy feeling will probably be cut short once they realize that Ukraine is electing fictional characters to office.
Khal Drogo promises a strong leader, a stallion to mount the world if you will.
Sandor Clegane promises to rid the government of officials who had worked with former president Viktor Yanukovych.
Robb Stark supports his father’s policies, though he urges the people “not to lose their heads” while voting. Sadly, it was his other head that got him in trouble with the Frey.
These fictitious characters apparently stand a fighting chance. President Petro Poroshenko will apparently have to think long and hard about whether Darth Vader, having earned the requisite 25,000 signatures in a petition, will make a suitable Prime Minister. Yes, the former electrician’s name was formally changed to “Darth Viktorovich Vader”.
Other Game of Thrones characters have their own catchy campaign slogans:
Tyrion seems the wisest choice, but whatever it is let’s stay away from the guy below.
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That’s not Jon snow in the above picture it’s rob stark