Sasha’s story is one of strength. His message is important: “Trauma can shift [1]the scales,” he says, by building character. Sasha shares his trauma with the rest of the world for two reasons: 1) self-healing; and 2) self-healing for his audience. The message is important for those who have been abused, and abusers alike: that abuse will not be tolerated. People are starting to speak out, to own their pain, and as Sasha says, the victims can start to learn to love and embrace themselves.
Sasha in now in post-production of a documentary he has created on his life, as a child who had survived multi-generational sexual abuse. “I wanted to share my story with the world and push for a conversation that I felt our society struggled to sustain,” he said during a talk he gave to 500 people in Bozeman. The 500 people, according to his statistics, include 1 out of 3 women and 1 out of 5 men who were sexually abused as children. He equates this figure further, stating 125 people in the crowd had been abused as children.
Last April, Sasha and his crew experienced the most successful campaign on kickstarter.com in history, when launching his documentary Rewind to Fast-Forward, receiving over 6000 responses just in supportive emails, let alone financial support.
Sasha feared for his life. He threw himself out of his mother’s moving car at the age of 8. Feeling unworthy of love, Sasha wanted to die. By the time he reached college, moving across the country and away from his past to study film school, his past started to catch up. “Four year old Sasha was still locked away. My quality of life continued to improve, but my past continued to weigh me down all because I didn’t know how to love the part of me that I really believed made me less than. I was convinced that if anyone knew I’d been sexually abused they’d know that I was dirty, disgusting, unlovable.” Now he shares his greatest fear and vulnerabilities with everyone. Now he is empowered, and with his message, he empowers others to do the same, and to speak out.
Sasha is human. Listening to this man speak about his trauma 20 years on, you can’t help but applaud him in your mind and heart. Four year old Sasha still exists, the battle still lurks in this generous and compassionate man’s soul, but he now loves himself. The strength he exudes for the sake of others, propels a vital message about abuse within the family.
Two hundred hours of his childhood have been digitized for his documentary, and he had had to watch painful memories of himself in the arms of his abusers. But there were also beautiful memories, he says, ones that he had forgotten because of the trauma that had overshadowed him during that time in his life.
His sadness resonated, but he reminds himself that he is deeply loved.
Neulinger, S. (2015). Rewind to Fast Forward. Retrieved from http://rewindtofastforward.com/
I was sexually abused myself and still struggle, but I am starting to grow and want to help others that might have gone through this as well. How can I help?